LoZ Update - OMGIjustboughtthefirstZeldagameandI'mtooexcitedtoputspacesinbetweenthesewordsandYAY!

...Read the post title. If it's decipherable.

Here we are - my eleventh Zelda game: the famous Legend of Zelda. Amazingly, although it's old, it's just as fun as all the others, if not BETTER. I'm REALLY enjoying the whole "run around Hyrule without a map or any clue what to do" thing. It gives me an excuse to do nothing...

But now I can't find the second dungeon - or ANY dungeon for that matter. I didn't even find the first - my sister did. Dang it. >.< She also found the fifth for us. I found the third while I was searching for the second, but that's pretty much it. When I finally saw a dungeon after looking for FOREVER, I was like, "OMG!!!! YES! DUNGEON!" And then I went in and see "Level 3". I was pretty upset. Like... let's throw the GameCube controller across the room and switch to Wii, then throw that too.

That's another nice part... Wii controllers work with this game, too. And our GameCube controllers are stupid - one has the little rubber covering over the control stick coming off and it ANNOYS me when I play, and the other has a tendency that when you press the control stick in one way, the game thinks you're pressing that indefinitely. It happened a lot in Brawl, Ocarina of Time, and Wind Waker. It's kind of funny - characters randomly start running to the side. And then one of our other controllers (the wireless ones) decides to not turn on sometimes. So we only have ONE working GC controller. XD So Wii controllers are MUCH better.

Now... I could write a detailed description in my normal way of writing posts... or I could do it in this somewhat fun idea that I came up with. Every time we died and started over, something interesting would happen...

And I've died twenty times, even though I'm only on level one. XD Srsly. The game counts.

Luckily, I don't remember all twenty times... so let's just write about the ones that might make you laugh, 'kay?

START

Me: YAYS! NEW ZELDA GAME! Okay, let's see... start here... ooh! I know this! I played it on the Brawl demo. I'm gonna - GO IN THE CAVE! Yeah! Sword... uh-huh... now what?

Rowan (my sis): Oh! I think I know! Remember that speed run we watched on YouTube? I think I remember where the guy went for the first dungeon.

Me: Really? Where?

Rowan: Let me show you...

Me: Um, no.... *We fight over controller for a while. Since technically it's my file and I'm the one who bought the game in the first place, I win.* Just tell me where to go.

Rowan: FINE. ...Um, up. I think. Now right... up...

Me: *gets hit on screen and gasps* WHOA! LEEVERS! I HATE LEEVERS!!!! *runs around trying to kill the stupid monsters... and then a Zola pops up and hits Link, killing him*

Rowan: ...Did you just die?

Me: ...Um... yeah... maybe. I officially hate Zolas.

DEATH TWO (or something like that)

*gets sword from old man in cave*

Rowan: Remember... up... right... up... AVOID THE LEEVERS!

Me: I'm TRYING! They're kind of HARD to avoid! They pop up out of NOWHERE! As if I didn't hate them on Twilight Princess in that stupid "fix the bridge for the Goron dude" sidequest... Or outside the Spirit Temple on Ocarina of Time... Or-

Rowan: You're a little scary sometimes when you talk about LoZ. Did you know that?

Me: Yes. Yes I did.

Rowan: Oh. Good.

*Link gets killed by ANOTHER LEEVER on screen*

DEATH THREE

Me: Are you sure we're going the right way? And HOW THE HECK DO I KILL THESE PEAHATS? OR THE ZOLAS? THEY'RE INVINCIBLE!!!

Rowan: Idk. But just ignore them. Umm... go up that way, and dodge the boulders.

Me: This game would be easier if there was a shield button.

Rowan: Um... you're holding a shield, aren't you? On the game?

Me: ...OMG. Link is. What the heck? Can't he use it?

*We go up a few screens until we reach a ton of Tektites*

Me: Wow! This is farther than we've gotten before! Now, let's kill the Tektites...

*waits*

Me: ...Um, why isn't my sword working?

Rowan: SIERRA!!!! YOU FORGOT TO GET THE SWORD FROM THE OLD MAN!!!!

Me: Oh. Shoot.

*dies*

DEATH FOUR

Me: Wow. I HAVE a sword this time, we're past the Tektites... now do we go up this ladder thing?

Rowan: Um... maybe...

Me: Okay. *enters an area with a cave on the other side* IS THAT THE DUNGEON?! I hope so. Wait... *sees this blue creature thing* Woah. What is THAT? Is it a Moblin? No... it doesn't look like one...

*tries to run up and hit it... it pwns Link. With half a heart left, tries to run around it... and it throws a sword at me. Link dies*

Me: ...I was THAT. CLOSE. And I died.

SINCE WHEN DO MONSTERS HAVE SWORD BEAMS??????

DEATH FIVE

Me: You know, it's REALLY annoying how my sword is on the A button. I keep pressing B. The sword is on B in EVERY game except this one. Even in Minish Cap, where you could unequip the sword, I couldn't STAND having it on A...

Rowan: No one cares, Sierra. Now go up the stairs again and look out for that blue Centaur thingy. ...NO! DON'T START HITTING IT!!!

Me: Why not? *gets down to half a heart again* DANG! *runs past it and into cave* YEEESSSS! WE MADE IT!!! ...Wait, what is this?

*enters room with old man in center and a sword in front of him.*

Old Man: You can have this when you master it.

Me: *glares at Rowan*

Rowan: Hehe... um... I guess this isn't a dungeon after all...

Me: *face-palm*

DEATH SIX

Me: Since we really don't have any other ideas on where to go, let's get back past that area with the boulders and go by the Tektites again, and then try that little path that led away from it to the side, all right?

Rowan: Sure, go ahead.

*does so - finds an empty area with four pathways leading off*

Me: Uh... where should we go?

Rowan: Just let ME have it. *she takes the controller and goes up over and over*

Me: ...Nothing's happening... OOH!

*magic Zelda puzzle-solved theme!*

Rowan: HAH! IT'S A DUNGEON! YES! *goes inside, reads top*

Me: ...Level five? Well, that's wonderful, Rowan, but we kinda need to start at level ONE.

Rowan: Oh... oops...

Interlude - Rowan's file! XD

Me: *just coming out of shower* ...WAIT! Where the heck are you?

Rowan: SIERRA! GUESS. WHAT. I FOUND THE FIRST DUNGEON!!!

Me: ...REALLY? Hey! But I want to do it!

Rowan: I know. That's why I made my own file. It's called Pwnage. :D

Me: THIS IS MY GAME! WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THIS? ...Oh, whatever. Give me a turn and-

*Rowan gets pwned by Wallmaster and taken back to start*

Rowan: NO!!!! I HAVE TO get back to that room now! PLEASE? Just a few more minutes?

Me: ...Fine.

*she gets back to room, and goes into next one by avoiding the Wallmasters*

Me: *looks up from reading fanfiction on DSi* ...IS THAT THE BOSS?

Rowan: Oh. Hey. I guess it is! Now, what do I do with this boss...?

Me: OH!!! I READ A FAN FICTION ABOUT THIS! (P.S. - It's called Voiceless if you wanted to look it up, lol. It's based on the first two games and it's pretty good. :D) The author said you can just stand in this one spot and shoot sword beams at the boss, and he can't hit you but you can hit him. It's supposed to be easy... except... your hearts aren't full. How can you get sword beams?

*she dies*

Me: HAH! MY TURN!

(And yet... she goes back for sword beams and pwns the boss.)

Rowan: TRIFORCE PIECE!!!! YAY!

Me: ...I hate you.

DEATH SEVEN

Me: Okay. BOSS TIME! Aquamentus... YEAH! ...That is the first boss's name, right?

Rowan: Don't ask me. You're the Zelda expert.

Me: Haha... right... *goes into boss room* ...Um, I just noticed something!

Rowan: What?

Me: ...I don't have sword beams.

Rowan: Then just go up and hit him with your sword or something...

*I try*

Me: ...IT'S NOT WORKING!!!! LOOK! *tries stabbing Aquamentus or whatever its name is with the sword - and NOTHING HAPPENS!* I'M STUCK IN HERE WITH AN INVINCIBLE BOSS! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I- Oh, hey. Is that door open? *goes out the door I came IN through*

Rowan: LOL. What was the point of all that?

Me: Well, every OTHER Zelda game I played, the door LOCKS when you fight the boss! How was I supposed to know? *goes a few rooms back in the dungeon, and sees a door I did not enter* Hey, Rowan? What's in there?

Rowan: Oh, Idk... I didn't go in there. Can't be important if I already defeated the boss.

Me: Well, maybe I'll get some hearts for sword beams in there. *explores a bit, does a block puzzle, and then...*

Me: ROWAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FOUND THE BOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rowan: WHAT? ...Drat. Now I need to get that.

Me: OOH! I bet that's why you can't hit him with your sword! You're supposed to use this as a projectile! Hehe, I'm smart.

Rowan: Yeah, sure, whatever.

*I go to the equipment screen... except I can't figure out how to equip the bow*

Me: Um... HOW DO I GET TO THAT? LOOK! I'm pressing EVERY button! Z! X! Y! A! B! NOTHING WORKS! *switches to Wii controller, tries again* ...STILL NOT WORKING!

Rowan: Haha, well, I don't have the bow. Can't help you there!

(I'm running out of time, so I'll just summarize this next part. I failed epically, absolutely convinced there's something wrong with our game, even reading the instructions fifty times over... and then I realize maybe I can't use the bow because... I had no arrows?)

(Gods. Why is this so DIFFICULT for me?)

----

I'm going to stop it there. XD I went and beat the boss with sword beams, since I didn't have enough rupees to buy arrows. And now... I need the second dungeon, wherever it might be. As you can see, the majority of my deaths come from AFTER I beat the first dugeon, while I'm exploring the Leever and Zola infiltrated Hyrule. ...OMG. I want to kill all Zolas and Leevers in EXISTENCE! I HATE THEM! They're worse than the Wallmasters! Worse, I still haven't discovered a way to kill Zolas; I spent a full fifteen minutes shooting sword beams at one when it popped out of the water, and it wouldn't die. And the Leevers just seem to keep coming BACK.

...Well, whatever. Thanks for letting me write this super epic post! Good night, awesome readers!